Lately, my days seem to be filled with chaos. I keep thinking back over the time line of my life and can’t seem to pinpoint the exact moment when my life shifted into fifth gear. Yet, the acceleration seems to continue from day to day, and I am caught trying desperately to catch my breath as the days fly by like landmarks outside my minivan window.

I remember the diaper-and-sippy-cup years, when sleep was elusive as I was up and down with a nursing baby, a nightmare-awakened-toddler, or a potty-training preschooler.

During those early mommy-years I spent a great deal of time at home simply because going out was too exhausting. I remember the tears (theirs and mine) and wondering if there would ever come a twenty-four hour period without someone crying, whining or throwing a tantrum.

Oh, how life has changed.

Now my children are all teens and tweens. These days, I am blessed to be sleeping through the night. No more up and down at three in the morning. I usually get seven to eight hours of sleep each night, and oh how sweet that is. No more diapers. No more sippy cups. No more nightmares or potty training.

So with so much night-time sleep, why am I so utterly exhausted most of the day-time?

Theory one. I am simply old and tired. Let’s face it, I am not in my twenties or thirties any longer, and with age comes, well, challenges. I recently had to get bifocals and injured my knees just walking. My body seems to be falling apart one piece at a time, and my stamina is definitely waning.

Theory two. I have run out of mommy-chips. I spent so many sleepless nights and chaotic days raising my kiddos during their early years that I have used up all of my extra energy and have no free-refills left.

Theory three. Life is tougher today than it was back then. I may be getting more sleep, but I am also running faster and faster during the daylight hours in hyper-speed fashion. When my youngest, Riley, entered first grade, I began teaching college full time. Full-time work and motherhood can be difficult at best. My children are actively involved in sports, keeping me glued into my mini-van driver’s seat, taxiing them all over the county to practices and games.

I am not sure which theory explains my exhaustion, or excuses my chaos, but I do know that life has changed. I also know when I have hit my limit.

Last night was a limit-hitting night.

I decided enough was enough! I filled the moat around my house and drew up the drawbridge. I cancelled it all! We skipped baton lessons and I told my two twirling girls to go out into the yard and twirl away at home. We all stayed home, I cooked supper, they worked on homework, and we all folded laundry. We caught up on life, and it felt great to slow down, if even for an evening.

Sometimes you just need to slow down just a bit so that you can actually enjoy seeing the landmarks of life as they pass you by outside your window.

As much as I loved my early-mommy years, those were some rough years, and I am thankful to have survived them with some semblance of my sanity intact. I guess I just expected life to get easier as my kids got older, and there-in lies the fallacy of motherhood.

Life never gets easier….it just changes.

And all you can expect to do is keep it in gear.